"Fearfully and Wonderfully made..."

"Fearfully and Wonderfully made..."
"...You have shown me great kindness in a strong city"

Monday, January 10, 2011

Stepping Out of The Boat

I was just watching my favorite channel JCTV and there was a guy on there talking about in Matthew when Jesus was walking on water, and I felt the Holy Spirit began to speak to me. I figured I'd share it with you guys.
Ok, picture this. The disciples are out on the water, the winds are blowing, the waves are crashing into the boat. The secure structure of the boat is beginning to break down, things are falling all over the place and in the mist of all of this craziness the see a figure out on the water. It's interesting that It captured their attention in the midst of all the craziness, it wasn't like they were calmly sitting there looking for something to capture their attention. As the figure gets closer they realize that it is Jesus, doing the impossible, walking on the water. Peter can't believe what he's seeing so he gets the boldness to tell Jesus that if it was really Him to tell him to come out on the water. Jesus simply says, "Come"
I see this as what God has been telling me lately. When the Holy Spirit prompted me to take this step of faith (to pursue PDSUM) I wasn't ready. There were and still are so many worries and obstacles in my way. So many things filled my mind as to how everything would be provided for. "God is this really you" I thought. This led to much prayer and fasting. I'd took what I felt was spoken to me and turned it over in my mind so many times. I looked at it from so many different ways. There were times I just figured it was just my crazy thinking and tried to forget about it, but I couldn't shake it. The waves, of doubt and fear were flooding my mind, but in the midst of all of that He was simply telling me to come.
In the midst of all of this while seeking God, I realize that it was God prompting my faith to action and I could either do 2 things; Step out of the boat and walk with Him or ignore that prompting until it eventually went silent and went away. To be completely honest I really wanted to step out in faith but every time I'd see things in the practical I'd get discouraged and tried to silence what I felt the Holy Spirit was telling me.
So just like Peter I'm getting out of the boat, I do realize that He fell but Jesus was there to pick him up. I hate making mistakes and failures but I believe that eventually I will have to eventually learn that part as well to see another side of God's mercy and grace I have never experienced before. A part of me is excited to see what's going to happen. I do believe that this will be one of the greatest testimonies I've witness of God's provision yet that in the midst of the storm that may be happening in the natural I will see God doing the impossible just like the disciples witnessed that night.